It's back on.

And I'm back. Today I had a medical exam for a new job. I knew that it would be a full examination, and was afraid that the doctor may ask about the marks on my clitty. Normally, I wouldn't want to let the marks fade, but if I don't get a job, I can't afford nice toys to torment myself with. So, I decided that I'd let myself go for a week without my cage.

I feel so disappointed with myself; the reason I got the cage was because I felt I played with my sissy clitty so much that cumming meant nothing any more, and without the cage, I went back to just that. I feel so disappointed that my own self-control doesn't stretch far enough to let me go one night without succumbing to the urge to cum.

Now that my examination is over, I'm wearing it again. Already I feel like I'm home again. It's funny, when I lock up my little clitty, I'm able to walk around shops looking at women's clothing while looking like a guy and feel a lot less embarrassed - when I do that, I feel like I'm on a mission. The idea of what anyone may say, or how they'd look at me, doesn't faze me in the slightest when it's on. Strangely, when it's off, I'd care a lot more about such things.

On a slightly tangential note, this is one of those things that makes me wonder if identifying as a sissy is entirely the right way to go. Me, I'm a transgirl, and have been for a good while, and I bought the chastity belt less out of a sense of humiliation than out of a sense of really liking the idea of chastity play. I really want someone I could submit my entire sexuality to, that would control when and where I cum. It also so happens that when I lock myself up, all things sissy both arouse me, but help me at the same time. Sometimes I think about getting myself a nice slutty school uniform and posting an ad in some local classifieds for some quick fun. I fantasize about submitting to a guy or girl, servicing them, being their slut, all the while locked in my cage, leaving the keys to the lock at home. Overall, during my day to day life, I identify as a transgirl, and not a hyper-feminine one at that; and that the sissy side is simply a kink that I indulge in.

The point of all of this is that the chastity itself was a choice made not by my sissy side, but my day-to-day life side, and sometimes what arises from wearing the belt doesn't always mix in with what I see as the general sissy ethos - it doesn't humiliate me, it just makes me more comfortable. However it does arouse me to lengths previously unknown, and all sorts of sissy activities (like wearing tampons) help me both maintain it, and get what release and enjoyment I can. Also, that confidence helps bolster me for entering certain humiliating experiences that I otherwise might not even conceive of doing otherwise - at some point I plan on going to a school uniform shop, asking for clothes in my size and to try them on.

At any rate, I hope to update you with my adventures soon.