So after much adjusting, and fitting and refitting, I've finally found the best way to lock up my clit (second biggest ring, with all 3 points of intrigue for space). I'm still a little wussy, but I hope to get to the end of the week with my clit all locked away.

I'm into my second day straight and I've been a good girl and not cum. I'm getting very horny. I know I've gone longer, but I went a week without control and now I have to make up for it. With a little more time, I'll be very frustrated, chomping at the bit waiting to cum. I'm only beginning, and a week will be the longest I've gone.

The fun thing is, I started work with it on, and I don't know what my co-workers think. The device is so big it looks like I'm doing what all the bois do. It's so embarassing, I don't like having such a big clittie (even though it's small for a boy) and the cage just makes it look bigger, and I'm sure it shows when I go shopping for something slutty.

For frustration I bought myself a subscription to a site that has videos of people's faces when they cum. Next to the cage, it was the best purchase ever. I see videos of guys and girls enjoying what I can't. The best thing is that they tape it themselves and send it to the site. It's beautiful and real, which is what a lot of sites don't do. Sometimes I toy with the idea of taping myself cumming while all locked up not having cum for at least a week. I'd love writhe and squirm, playing with myself all ways but that way, trying to get release. I get turned on just thinking of it - owie!

It's back on.

And I'm back. Today I had a medical exam for a new job. I knew that it would be a full examination, and was afraid that the doctor may ask about the marks on my clitty. Normally, I wouldn't want to let the marks fade, but if I don't get a job, I can't afford nice toys to torment myself with. So, I decided that I'd let myself go for a week without my cage.

I feel so disappointed with myself; the reason I got the cage was because I felt I played with my sissy clitty so much that cumming meant nothing any more, and without the cage, I went back to just that. I feel so disappointed that my own self-control doesn't stretch far enough to let me go one night without succumbing to the urge to cum.

Now that my examination is over, I'm wearing it again. Already I feel like I'm home again. It's funny, when I lock up my little clitty, I'm able to walk around shops looking at women's clothing while looking like a guy and feel a lot less embarrassed - when I do that, I feel like I'm on a mission. The idea of what anyone may say, or how they'd look at me, doesn't faze me in the slightest when it's on. Strangely, when it's off, I'd care a lot more about such things.

On a slightly tangential note, this is one of those things that makes me wonder if identifying as a sissy is entirely the right way to go. Me, I'm a transgirl, and have been for a good while, and I bought the chastity belt less out of a sense of humiliation than out of a sense of really liking the idea of chastity play. I really want someone I could submit my entire sexuality to, that would control when and where I cum. It also so happens that when I lock myself up, all things sissy both arouse me, but help me at the same time. Sometimes I think about getting myself a nice slutty school uniform and posting an ad in some local classifieds for some quick fun. I fantasize about submitting to a guy or girl, servicing them, being their slut, all the while locked in my cage, leaving the keys to the lock at home. Overall, during my day to day life, I identify as a transgirl, and not a hyper-feminine one at that; and that the sissy side is simply a kink that I indulge in.

The point of all of this is that the chastity itself was a choice made not by my sissy side, but my day-to-day life side, and sometimes what arises from wearing the belt doesn't always mix in with what I see as the general sissy ethos - it doesn't humiliate me, it just makes me more comfortable. However it does arouse me to lengths previously unknown, and all sorts of sissy activities (like wearing tampons) help me both maintain it, and get what release and enjoyment I can. Also, that confidence helps bolster me for entering certain humiliating experiences that I otherwise might not even conceive of doing otherwise - at some point I plan on going to a school uniform shop, asking for clothes in my size and to try them on.

At any rate, I hope to update you with my adventures soon.

A shopping adventure, part I

The last few days has been a time of discovery for me! What fun it is.

I was reading Sissy Dolly Anne's article on When a sissy should be allowed cum and was inspired by the ideas! So when I was out shopping today I bought all kinds of fun stuff. I wanted to try out different tampons to my usual to see if they'd be any easier to insert (for reference, I use plain old tampax with applicators - don't try the tampax compak, the applicators are too short to make it all the way in without chaffing (or do, if that's your thing)), and while I was there I saw Kotex Nighttime Maxi Pads and I just had to have them.

When I was shopping I was very naughty and had a key with me so I could get copies cut. At one point I opened the Kotex and touched them. They felt like heaven. They were smooth, soft and thick. They felt amazing, so I fumbled for the key and took off my device. Like Dolly Anne suggested, I smeared a heavy E45 cream all over them and walked around with it. Nobody else knew what was between my legs that day.

I don't have much power left on my sissy little laptop to write this, but I've started playing with the Points of Intrigue. I use the two biggest ones and sleep in them. It's a really fun dilemma, because when my clit gets aroused, it pushes against the points, making me more horny, hurting me even more. The most fun part is when I wake up in the middle of the night, with my clit doing battle. It's all I can do not to scream. I know my keys are far away, and I just can't do anything but see how it goes. I can't make myself cum yet by nipple play like Dolly Anne can, but I'm getting there. So here's to another interesting night!

The Beginning

I bought a Curve (a chastity device) a few days back, and rushed to put it on.

It took a little while to figure out how to get it to fit right, but now that I can, I wear it as often as I can.

The Curve is so big that it doesn't fit so well under my clothes, and sometimes I wonder if people might notice it under my clothes, and if it will get me into trouble, but I secretly wonder what would happen if I was found out. Sometimes I fantasize about being found and what punishment would happen. Would they bend me over, pounding my ass mercilessly? Would they fucking me all ways that they could, leaving me so turned on but unable to help myself?

When I bought it, I went on a real spree and bought as much material as I could to frustrate me, to make me want to cum so hard but not be able to. I bought some magazines, and a dvd of trannies sucking tranny-cock. It all makes me want to cum so hard that I can barely stand it, and want to find any way possible to find release? That's the point right? Good girls shouldn't cum, unless they're let. I even bought a butt-plug and some tampons just to see if they could help me. It makes me want to be fucked in the ass so bad that it hurts.

That's the big problem right now. I want to cum so badly, but there's nobody who holds the Key, so I'm stuck.

What I really want in a KeyHolder is someone who can hold me their will. I want someone to control when I can and cannot cum, and I want them to do it in the most physical way. I want someone to choose how I wear my belt, and to choose when I take it off, and what I do when it's off.

I want to be in a state where I'll do anything just so the KeyHolder will take off the cage, and let me cum. I'll do anything, just so I can cum again. I'll be a slave just so that I can feel that sweet sweet release.

So that's me. If you're in Dublin, and think you want to be my KeyHolder, just let me know.